As is evidenced by my disappearance after that week 2 update, I didn’t get terribly far in NaNoWriMo 2017. I’m not viewing it as a fail, though, because the work I did was substantially more than years past. I learned a lot about myself as a writer, my process, and what works for me (as well as what doesn’t). I came pretty far in my novel, further than I have in a long while on this decade-long project. What I realized, ultimately, is that my heart is not in the story.

I began writing/plotting this novel when I was a junior in college. I was 21, had very little real life experience, and much of my early work on it was from such a vastly different mindset and world view that I am now unable to connect with the protagonist. I think that I will be able to return to it someday, rework things, maybe fashion it into a novella vs. the full-length novel I had originally planned. I like the story, but I am at an impasse, and one of the primary learning experiences for me during this past NaNo is that when I hit a wall, I should stop ramming into it and find another route.

I have been dormant as a writer lately, outside my “day job” work, which I am seeking to shake up. There are stories unfinished, stories untold, poems to write, and plenty left unsaid. Up first: Finally, a conclusion to the basement story. It’s in my head — now to yank it out and hold it down until I get it etched into permanence.

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